O.J. Simpson Got His Parole

HIGHLIGHTS:  O.J. SIMPSON was granted parole yesterday, meaning he’ll be released in October.  He served 9 years of a 33-year sentence for kidnapping and armed robbery.

FULL STORY:  Well, it happened . . . and it really shouldn’t be a surprise:  O.J. SIMPSON was granted parole yesterday.  So after serving 9 years of a 33-year sentence for kidnapping and armed robbery, he’ll be a free man in October.

The four-man parole board in Carson City, Nevada voted unanimously to set him free.  Ironically, one of the reasons they cited was his LACK OF PRIOR CONVICTION.

O.J. looked and sounded great, especially for a guy who just turned 70.  That’ll probably be disappointing to a lot of people, but what can I do about it?

The hearing was interesting, because everyone ignored the fact that O.J. murdered two people.  I mean, they had to, since in the eyes of the law, he DIDN’T.  But it still led to some interesting soundbytes from The Juice.  Such as . . .

“I’ve always been a guy that pretty much got along with everybody.”

“I’ve basically spent a conflict-free life.”

“Nobody has ever accused me of pulling any weapon on them.”

(This is actually true, but only because the one time he did it, he did it really, really well.)

“I’m not a guy who lived a criminal life.  I’m a pretty straight shooter.”

And . . .

“I’d just like to get back to my family and friends, and believe it or not, I do have some real friends.”

It certainly helped O.J.’s case that one of the victims . . . a guy named Bruce Fromong . . . testified on his behalf.  He even said that if O.J. called and asked him for a ride from prison, he’d be there.  (And he wore a Heisman Trophy shirt to the hearing.)  (???)

O.J.’s 48-year-old daughter Arnelle also testified, calling her dad, quote, “my best friend and my rock.”

Twitter was all over this, of course.  Comedian Rory Albanese had a good one . . . quote, “It’s crazy that this generation will only know OJ as an armed robber and not for the thing he’s most famous for, murder.”

And Harry Shearer said, quote, “OJ:  ‘lived a conflict-free life’ . . . but we heard Nicole’s 911 calls, the baseball bat through her car windshield.”  (Grab more Tweets here, here, here, and here.)

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