It appears that jeans are evolving . . . that’s jeans spelled J-E-A-N-S, not, like, our biological genes, although they’re probably evolving too. But that’s a tangent that’s missing the point: Jeans are getting STUPID.
Two new types of jeans have just gone on sale and, well, judge for yourself . . .
The first ones just went on sale at Nordstrom. They’re called the “Barracuda Straight Leg Jeans” and they come pre-streaked with lots of FAKE MUD.
That way you can look like you’ve been, quote, “getting down and dirty” without, you know, doing anything. And how much do they cost? $425. Wow.
The other new jeans come from a British chain called Topshop. And even though they call them jeans, that’s a stretch . . . because they’re not made from denim and they’re COMPLETELY SEE-THROUGH.
The description says, quote, “These out-of-the-ordinary clear plastic jeans [are] guaranteed to get people talking.” At least they “only” cost $100. (As of late last night, they were no longer listed on Topshop’s website.)