Football Scores
Week 3
  • Sharyland High 48 VS Valley View 6
    Final
  • Monte Alto 13 VS Corpus Christi John Paul II 58
    Final
  • Hidalgo 0 VS Rio Hondo 59
    Final
  • Brownsville Pace 14 VS La Joya Palmview 27
    Final
  • Mission Veterans Memorial 40 VS Roma 10
    Final
  • Santa Maria 35 VS Benavides 7
    Final
  • La Joya High 21 VS PSJA North 20
    Final
  • Victoria East 34 VS McAllen High 31
    Final
  • Progreso 6 VS Hebbronville 50
    Final
  • Lyford 21 VS Grulla 34
    Final
  • Bishop 49 VS La Villa 6
    Final
  • Brownsville St. Joseph 12 VS Raymondville 17
    Final
  • Santa Rosa 20 VS Arnasas Pass 34
    Final
  • La Joya Juarez-Lincoln 13 VS Edcouch-Elsa 14
    Final
  • Eagle Pass Winn 14 VS Mission High 21
    Final

The Top Signs You’re At A Redneck Halloween Party

Houston native, 1st Lt. Jamie Arrington, 610th Brigade Support Battalion Physicians Assistant, gets a laugh from the crowd as he poses in his "redneck" costume during the Company C, 610th BSB "Charlie Med" Halloween party at the Forward Operating Base Falcon, Troop Medical Clinic, Oct. 28.

Redneck costume, complete with mullet.

 

Here are some great zingers/dad jokes to help you get into the Halloween spirit.

Behold, the Top Signs You’re At A Redneck Halloween Party

  • That zombie who’s missing the bottom half of his face is actually a guy who got mouth cancer from Redman.
  • The only thing that’s really scary is the giant Confederate flag on the living room wall.
  • It’s your first time hearing “Don’t Fear the Reaper” played by a guy blowing into a jug.
  • All the dummies hanging from the trees in the yard look suspiciously like President Obama and Hillary Clinton.
  • Almost everyone’s dressed as Daryl from “The Walking Dead” because what the heck, they already had a crossbow and a Harley.
  • There’s no need for strobe lights when you can get the same effect by drinking what they’re mixing in the bathtub out back.
  • Little Red Riding Hood has two full tattoo sleeves.
  • Nobody dresses as ghosts because they don’t want to dirty their Klan robes.
  • The witches are brewing meth.
  • The winner of the scariest costume contest is dressed as a Democrat.
  • The most popular costume is the “Sexy Cousin.”
  • The pumpkin carving knife is covered in leftover squirrel meat.
  • Everyone jumped from fright at the sight of an empty beer cooler.
  • Any women dressed as a witch hears, “Oh, nice Hillary Clinton costume!”
  • Not one person asks, “So, read any good books lately?”