The Top Signs You’re At A Redneck Halloween Party

Houston native, 1st Lt. Jamie Arrington, 610th Brigade Support Battalion Physicians Assistant, gets a laugh from the crowd as he poses in his "redneck" costume during the Company C, 610th BSB "Charlie Med" Halloween party at the Forward Operating Base Falcon, Troop Medical Clinic, Oct. 28.

Redneck costume, complete with mullet.

 

Here are some great zingers/dad jokes to help you get into the Halloween spirit.

Behold, the Top Signs You’re At A Redneck Halloween Party

  • That zombie who’s missing the bottom half of his face is actually a guy who got mouth cancer from Redman.
  • The only thing that’s really scary is the giant Confederate flag on the living room wall.
  • It’s your first time hearing “Don’t Fear the Reaper” played by a guy blowing into a jug.
  • All the dummies hanging from the trees in the yard look suspiciously like President Obama and Hillary Clinton.
  • Almost everyone’s dressed as Daryl from “The Walking Dead” because what the heck, they already had a crossbow and a Harley.
  • There’s no need for strobe lights when you can get the same effect by drinking what they’re mixing in the bathtub out back.
  • Little Red Riding Hood has two full tattoo sleeves.
  • Nobody dresses as ghosts because they don’t want to dirty their Klan robes.
  • The witches are brewing meth.
  • The winner of the scariest costume contest is dressed as a Democrat.
  • The most popular costume is the “Sexy Cousin.”
  • The pumpkin carving knife is covered in leftover squirrel meat.
  • Everyone jumped from fright at the sight of an empty beer cooler.
  • Any women dressed as a witch hears, “Oh, nice Hillary Clinton costume!”
  • Not one person asks, “So, read any good books lately?”