According to BusinessInsider.com, here are ten things grown men should never wear. Most guys have at least one of these in their closet . . .
- Anything with flames on it.
- Really wide ties. They haven’t been fashionable since the mid-’90s. Thinner ties are more in fashion now.
- Tie-dye shirts.
- Cargo pants or shorts. Which is debatable, since a LOT of guys still wear them.
- Jeans with a ton of embroidery on the back.
- Belts with metal studs. They’re for angry teenagers and punk rockers, sorry.
- Shirts you’d ONLY wear to a club. If you’re a grown man, your REGULAR dress shirts should be good enough to go out in.
- Fedoras. Only skinny hipsters can pull it off.
- Wearing sandals all the time. Adidas flip flops, Tevas . . . it doesn’t matter.
- Anything with a huge Abercrombie & Fitch logo on it. You shouldn’t still be dressing like you did in 1998.
There’s an old cliché that it’s better to look good than to FEEL good. I would say that counts as TERRIBLE advice . . . especially when someone takes it to the extreme like THIS.
A 35-year-old woman in Adelaide, Australia was recently helping a relative move . . . and she wore SUPER skinny jeans. She spent a few hours squatting to get stuff out of the kitchen cabinets and when she tried to walk right afterward, she COULDN’T.
Her calves were so swollen it was impossible to get the jeans off, and she had no feeling in her feet.
She was rushed to the hospital where they had to cut the jeans off . . . and she was there for FOUR DAYS before she could walk again.
The doctors who treated her said this should be a good warning about being careful with wearing skinny jeans . . . or at least being careful about what you do when you’re wearing them.
Other than Ronald McDonald, there’s no McDonald’s character more famous than the Hamburglar. Well, maybe Grimace. Mayor McCheese? Please.
But the Hamburglar’s been in exile for a while now . . . they haven’t used him in an ad since 2002.
Except yesterday they announced he’s making a comeback. And he looks . . . um . . . different.
The Hamburglar you remember was cartoonish . . . he had a giant round head, one tooth, and a goofy smile. The new Hamburglar? He’s a middle-aged HIPSTER.
The guy playing the character in commercials isn’t wearing a big funny mascot head anymore . . . it’s just a regular dude with stubble. He’s still got the black mask over his eyes, a hat, and a striped shirt . . . but also has skinny jeans and red leather high tops.
Oh . . . and he’s a dad now. (???)
He’s about to start appearing in commercials for a new McDonald’s product, the Sirloin Third Pound Burger.
Ryan and Jourdan Spencer of Scotch Plains, New Jersey met on a blind date back in 2004, and got married in 2007. And a few years ago, they were checking out some old home movies from Jourdan’s childhood.
They were watching one from July of 1988 . . . Jourdan was just a little girl at the time, visiting an amusement park in Langhorne, Pennsylvania called Sesame Place. And while her dad was filming her, a skinny kid with glasses randomly walked into the frame.
It was RYAN.
They grew up about 45 minutes apart, and had even talked about going to Sesame Place as kids . . . but they had no idea they were there on the same DAY in 1988, or that they’d ever crossed paths.
They just showed their three kids the tape . . . and they say the tape is making them both believe in FATE.
33-year-old Jill Roy of Buzzards Bay, Massachusetts works at Dunkin’ Donuts. And in spite of unlimited access to unlimited calories, apparently she’s still super skinny with no butt.
So Jill went ahead and got herself a FAKE BUTT prosthesis, which she wears out to give herself a little extra something.
How do we know? Because Jill hasn’t just been using her fake butt to attract men in possession of anacondas.
Jill was pulled over a few weeks ago, and as she was standing near a cop car, a bag of marijuana that she’d hidden in her fake butt fell out of her pant leg. So the cops took her into the station and searched her.
During the search, a female deputy noticed the fake butt and asked Jill to take it off. And when she did . . . there were illegal painkillers AND a bag of heroin hidden in it.
Jill was hit with several felony and misdemeanor narcotics charges.
(The Smoking Gun)