It appears that jeans are evolving . . . that’s jeans spelled J-E-A-N-S, not, like, our biological genes, although they’re probably evolving too. But that’s a tangent that’s missing the point: Jeans are getting STUPID.
Two new types of jeans have just gone on sale and, well, judge for yourself . . .
The first ones just went on sale at Nordstrom. They’re called the “Barracuda Straight Leg Jeans” and they come pre-streaked with lots of FAKE MUD.
That way you can look like you’ve been, quote, “getting down and dirty” without, you know, doing anything. And how much do they cost? $425. Wow.
The other new jeans come from a British chain called Topshop. And even though they call them jeans, that’s a stretch . . . because they’re not made from denim and they’re COMPLETELY SEE-THROUGH.
The description says, quote, “These out-of-the-ordinary clear plastic jeans [are] guaranteed to get people talking.” At least they “only” cost $100. (As of late last night, they were no longer listed on Topshop’s website.)
(Fox News / UPI)
If you’re getting a big tax refund, here’s some stuff you might want to spend it on. It’s six things that usually go on sale in April . . .
1. Sneakers. A lot of people buy them for spring, so stores and websites get pretty competitive with prices. They also might still be trying to sell off stock from last year.
2. Jackets. They start going on sale this month, so stores can make more room for lighter, summer clothes.
3. Paint and other home improvement supplies. The weather’s getting nicer, so stores really start to push that stuff. Home Depot and Lowes both have “Spring Black Friday” sales right now. Some stuff is marked down 35%.
4. Pots, pans, and other household items. Mother’s Day is coming up, and so is wedding season. So stores try to take advantage of it by dropping their prices.
5. A tune-up for your car. It’s National Car Care Month, so a lot of mechanics offer deals on tune-ups, oil changes, and new tires.
6. Last-minute vacations. April is considered an off-season month, because it’s right after winter, but before summer . . . and Easter is right in the middle of it. So you might be able to get a pretty good deal on flights and hotels.
Do you like spicy foods or torturing yourself? Then this is for you. The spiciest tortilla chip in the WORLD is about to go on sale.
And I do mean “chip” . . . not “chips.” Because they come in a package shaped like a coffin with just ONE CHIP inside. The company making them says, quote, “That’s all anyone needs.”
They’re seasoned with the Carolina Reaper Pepper, which is in the “Guinness Book of World Records” as the hottest chili pepper on Earth. They’re going on sale for $4.99 by the end of the month at Paqui.com. Yep, five bucks for one chip.
Cheerios just announced they’re doing a Pumpkin Spice flavor at the end of the month. And apparently that made it open season on those announcements . . . because M&M’s just released THEIR Halloween plans.
Their new flavor this year is white chocolate filled with butterscotch. And they’re calling it . . . wait for it . . . BOO-tterscotch. They’ll be on sale at Target within the next few weeks.
They’re also bringing back a few other older Halloween flavors, like Pecan Pie and Candy Corn.
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Here are five lies you’re probably telling yourself about money.
- You have “good debt.” We’ve all been told there’s a difference between “good debt” like student loans or your mortgage . . . and “bad debt” like from credit cards. And while it’s true that some kinds of debt are worse than others, it’s best to avoid it altogether.
- You don’t have enough to invest. If you have enough money for a Netflix subscription or a cup of coffee at Starbucks, then you have money you can invest.
- You’ll be earning more in the future. We all want to assume we’ll earn more as we get older and more experienced, but there are no guarantees.
- You saved money buying something on sale. If you rationalize a purchase by saying it was on sale, or that you used a coupon, you’re ignoring the fact that money still left your wallet. You only truly “save” money if you were planning to buy it anyway.
- You get paid well, so your crappy job is worth it. Financial security is important, so it’s not necessarily smart to quit your stressful job, follow your passion, and become a professional “Pokemon Go” player.
But if you live reasonably and spend wisely, you should be able to find a middle ground where bills get paid AND you’re happy at work.