Which of These Messed-Up Things Would You Do For $5 Million?

Which of These Messed-Up Things Would You Do For $5 Million?


A new survey by Buzzfeed asked people if they’d do a bunch of MESSED-UP THINGS for five million dollars. And I’m a little afraid of how many of them I’D do for five HUNDRED dollars.

Let’s see if you’re a better person than I am. Check ’em out . . .

1. Would you only listen to country music for the rest of your life for $5 million? 54% would, 46% wouldn’t.

2. Knowing that somewhere in the world, one random person would die in exchange for you getting the money . . . with you never knowing who it is? 50% would, 50% wouldn’t.

3. Quit the Internet for the next 15 years? 45% would, 55% wouldn’t.

4. Have all your teeth removed? 42% would, 58% wouldn’t.

5. Star in a hardcore porn video that would be the first thing that pops up whenever someone Googles your name? 33% would, 67% wouldn’t.

6. Do five years in a maximum security prison? 30% would, 70% wouldn’t.

7. Give up sex AND self-pleasuring for the next 30 years? 26% would, 74% wouldn’t.

8. Eat a live cockroach every day for the rest of your life? 25% would, 75% wouldn’t.

9. Live in solitude for the next 20 years? 24% would, 76% wouldn’t.

10. Only eat plain oatmeal for every meal for the rest of your life? 22% would, 78% wouldn’t.

11. Have sex with a cactus? 19% would, 81% wouldn’t.

12. Eat a large poop log with a knife and fork? 14% would, 86% wouldn’t.

13. Cut off the thumb on your dominant hand? 14% would, 86% wouldn’t.

14. Eat your pet? 8% would, 92% wouldn’t.

15. French kiss one of your parents for two hours straight? 7% would, 93% wouldn’t.

16. Never bathe again or use deodorant? 7% would, 93% wouldn’t.

17. Never use a bathroom again and only go in your pants? 5% would, 95% wouldn’t.

18. Get a realistic penis tattooed on your face? 4% would, 96% wouldn’t.

(Buzzfeed)

A Guy Tries to Burn Down His Ex’s House by Setting Cheetos on Fire

A Guy Tries to Burn Down His Ex’s House by Setting Cheetos on Fire

cheetoscrop

Malicious arson doesn’t get FUNNIER than this, folks.

A 31-year-old guy named Shemroy Williams from Taunton, Massachusetts was SO angry with his ex-girlfriend back in March that he decided to set her house on fire.

But when the fire wasn’t spreading fast enough, he tried to accelerate it . . . by dumping his bag of CHEETOS into it.

There’s no word if they were Flamin’ Hot Cheetos… Ahem.

Anyway, the Cheetos didn’t work as an accelerant and the fire department put the fire out while it was still pretty small.

Shemroy was in court this week and he was sentenced to two-and-a-half years in prison for malicious destruction of property.

Kids Today Spend Less Time Outside Than Prison Inmates

Kids Today Spend Less Time Outside Than Prison Inmates

Photo Credit:  Flickr Mads Bødker

Photo Credit: Flickr Mads Bødker

Here’s a good anecdote for JUST how little time kids today spend playing outside: A new survey found a lot of kids spend less time outside on an average day than PRISON INMATES.

One in three kids between five and 12 years old play outside for around 30 minutes. Meanwhile, the U.N. guidelines require that prisoners get at least one hour a day outdoors.

 

(ABC 7 – Buffalo)