Flickr| by LyndaSanchez
You didn’t realize it, but apparently you needed to have a thesaurus next to you when you filled out your online dating profile.
A new study found the words that help you get your profile noticed and the ones that are killing you.
The best way for a man to describe himself is . . . “physically fit.” That leads to a 95% increase in views, although if your pictures don’t quite back up that description, it probably won’t lead to dates.
Other good words for men to use are perceptive . . . spontaneous . . . outgoing . . . and optimistic. The three worst ways a man can describe himself are quiet . . . spiritual . . . and respectful.
The best way for a woman to describe herself is . . . “ambitious.” That will get you 48% more views on your profile.
Other good words for women to use are perceptive . . . sweet . . . hard working . . . and thoughtful. The three worst ways a woman can describe herself are spiritual . . . quiet . . . and dependable.
Medical malpractice doesn’t get crazier than this.
36-year-old Hanan Mahmoud Abdul Karim gave birth last month in Amman, Jordan. It was a C-section.
And while her gynecologist was performing the procedure . . . he somehow left his CELL PHONE inside her.
He sewed her up, and she and the baby were discharged. She only realized something was wrong when someone called the doctor, and she felt the phone VIBRATING inside her.
She went back to the hospital, and other, better surgeons successfully removed it. She was in a lot of pain before they took it out, but fortunately she’s okay.
And now the government is investigating.
33-year-old Jill Roy of Buzzards Bay, Massachusetts works at Dunkin’ Donuts. And in spite of unlimited access to unlimited calories, apparently she’s still super skinny with no butt.
So Jill went ahead and got herself a FAKE BUTT prosthesis, which she wears out to give herself a little extra something.
How do we know? Because Jill hasn’t just been using her fake butt to attract men in possession of anacondas.
Jill was pulled over a few weeks ago, and as she was standing near a cop car, a bag of marijuana that she’d hidden in her fake butt fell out of her pant leg. So the cops took her into the station and searched her.
During the search, a female deputy noticed the fake butt and asked Jill to take it off. And when she did . . . there were illegal painkillers AND a bag of heroin hidden in it.
Jill was hit with several felony and misdemeanor narcotics charges.
(The Smoking Gun)