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Week 11
  • Laredo United South 6 VS McAllen Memorial 44
  • Sharyland Pioneer 31 VS Mercedes 68
  • Brownsville Hanna 32 VS Edinburg Vela 34
  • Brownsville Lopez 17 VS Mission Veterans Memorial 25
  • Grulla 16 VS Pleasanton 32
  • Weslaco East 49 VS PSJA High 13
  • Santa Rosa 0 VS Goliad 49
  • La Joya High 7 VS San Antonio Southwest 14
  • Sharyland High 59 VS Brownsville Pace 43
  • Rockport-Fulton 19 VS La Feria 14
What Does Every State Search For the Most on Cinco de Mayo?

What Does Every State Search For the Most on Cinco de Mayo?

Today is Cinco de Mayo, which is a holiday that commemorates a battle victory by Mexico over France in 1862.  Oddly enough, it’s way more popular in America than it is in Mexico.

Anyway, a website called just analyzed Google searches from last year’s Cinco de Mayo to find out what holiday-related search was the most popular in every state.  Here are some highlights . . .

1.  In 13 states, the most common search was, “What is Cinco de Mayo?”  We can’t blast anyone who wants some education.

2.  We CAN blast the four states where the top search was “When is Cinco de Mayo?” though.  Not a good look, Arizona, Nebraska, Iowa, and Indiana.

3.  Tequila or tequila sunrise was the top search in eight states.

4.  Searches for different Mexican restaurants were popular in 15 states, but only one of them searched for TACO BELL:  Utah.

5.  And finally, there were three states that Googled something about Mexican culture that isn’t food.  Wyoming and Rhode Island’s top search was for the Mexican flag . . . and Louisiana’s was for sombreros.



Here’s some stupid one-liners about Cinco de Mayo.

  • Some people mistakenly think it’s Mexican Independence Day. The rest don’t care as long as the bartender keeps refilling their margaritas.
  • It’s the only day of the year your liver says, “No mas.”
  • There’s a movie in the works about Mexican General Ignacio Zaragoza’s victory over the French . . . starring Tom Cruise.
  • It’s the one time a year Americans get to let loose and have a few drinks.
  • By some crazy coincidence, it always happens to fall on the 5th of May.
  • People think it celebrates Mexico’s independence from Spain. But it actually celebrates Mexico’s independence from sobriety.
  • Once you drink your tenth beer, it’s traditional to yell “GOAAAAAALLLL!!!”
  • It’s one of about five million holidays around the world that all commemorate a military victory against France.
  • Millions of Americans will pack Mexican restaurants today . . . and others will go to Taco Bell.
  • In Spanish it means “Fifth of May”. And in English it means “I’m going to dress in offensive stereotypical costumes as an excuse to get drunk”.
  • Mike Pence wants to replace it with a day celebrating white people called Cinco de Mayonnaise.
  • It’s racist. But in a harmless way. Like Aunt Jemima.


Sunshine at Your Wedding? For $150,000, a Company Will Destroy Any Clouds

Sunshine at Your Wedding? For $150,000, a Company Will Destroy Any Clouds


You know you’re taking your wedding too seriously when you start paying six figures to change the WEATHER. That’s some North Korea-style supervillain stuff right there.

But it IS an option now . . . if you’ve got a ton of money to waste.

There’s a company in the U.K. called Oliver’s Travels, and they’re offering a new service where they’ll DESTROY the clouds over your wedding . . . so you can have perfect sunny weather.

The service starts at about $150,000, and here’s how it works: 24 hours before the wedding they fly PLANES through the clouds . . . drop a chemical called silver iodide in them . . . and makes the clouds burst into rain.

By the next day, the rain will be dried up and you’ll have blue skies. And they GUARANTEE their service will work . . . but for $150,000, they better.

They only offer it at some popular wedding spots in France right now, but plan on expanding if it becomes popular. There’s no word on whether anyone’s actually purchased the service so far . . . or whether it’s even LEGAL.