Never doubt the power of people’s social media VANITY.
The cops in Swansea, Wales recently put 35-year-old Wayne Esmonde’s mugshot on their Facebook page because he had a warrant out for assault.
In the mugshot, his eyes are open VERY wide and he kind of looks like a mix of shocked and crazy.
Well . . . Wayne replied to the Facebook post last week and wrote, quote, “I am him. Not a very flattering mugshot. I’d appreciate it if you take this post down. Innocent until proven guilty and all that.”
And he eventually reached a deal with the cops: If he turned himself in, they’d take down the photo. So he went to the station on Thursday, the cops arrested him, and they took down the mugshot.
But . . . unfortunately for Wayne, now that his story is out, that mugshot is ALL OVER the Internet and getting infinitely more attention than it was getting before. Oops.
Someone had a bunch of teenagers explain how to be “cool” on social media. Here are seven rules to follow . . . and none them are about Facebook, because teens just don’t care. Instagram, Twitter, and Snapchat are where it’s at.
1. Pay attention to your “following” to “followers” ratio. You should have at least twice as many followers. So if you’re following a ton of people, delete them.
2. Only use hashtags ironically. Don’t use them for any other reason. And stop saying “Throwback Thursday.” Apparently it’s lame now.
3. Make your videos short, and don’t post too many. Like if you’re at a concert, don’t post 30 photos and videos to the same Snapchat Story. It’s annoying and lame.
4. Don’t post boring photos where you’re just sitting around or lying in bed. Only post photos on Instagram and Snapchat when you’re out doing something fun.
5. Don’t end your posts with a ton of emojis. The max before you seem lame is three emojis per post.
6. Stop posting photos of food. You can do it every now and then, but not too often.
7. Don’t post a ton of selfies. It makes you look like you have no friends.
Every once in a while, you’ll see someone’s GoFundMe campaign pop up on Facebook. And maybe you toss them a few bucks, maybe you don’t . . . but either way, it’s not a choice you have to make that often.
Well . . . it looks like that’s about to change. Because now, people can set up campaigns to beg . . . err, ask . . . their friends for donations directly on Facebook. So if there’s a FLOOD of people asking for money, that’s why.
If you want to set one up, you can ask for donations in six different categories: Education . . . medical . . . pet medical . . . crisis relief . . . personal emergencies . . . and funeral and loss.
So why is Facebook adding this feature? Well, they SAY it’s to set up a safe way to get money in times of need . . . but they’re also taking a CUT.
They’ll get 6.9% of whatever you collect, which they say goes toward, quote, “payment processing fees, fundraiser vetting, security, and fraud protection.”
We found a list online of the most annoying types of Facebook friends. And it’s pretty good, because they left off the really obvious ones like the friends who post too many photos of their kids.
Here’s the top ten . . .
- The friend who always falls for fake news stories. It happens a lot right now because of the election. A lot of the political memes you see are filled with made-up facts.
- The friend who constantly endorses the lame pyramid scheme they bought into. A lot of them tend to be health and fitness related.
- The friend who changes their profile picture too much. Once or twice a month is fine, but five times a month is a little much.
- The friend who uses GoFundMe to fund everything. Like for vacations and other stuff they should pay for themselves.
- The friend who’s intentionally vague about good news. They post something like, “Just got huge news, stay tuned.” So you have no idea what they’re talking about, but you feel obligated to like it anyway.
- The friend you don’t know very well, who starts liking photos you posted five years ago. So you suddenly feel like you’re being stalked. And it’s even worse if you’re a woman and it’s a BIKINI shot from five years ago.
- The friend who has an opinion about everything. Any time you post something that’s even slightly controversial, they’re all over it.
- The friend who posts pointless hashtags. Like a photo of a sunset, with five hashtags that say things like “blessed” and “beautiful.”
- The friend who asks questions on Facebook when they could just google the answer. Like asking for restaurant suggestions instead of checking Yelp.
- The friend who invites you to events on the other side of the country. They’re just inviting everyone they know to save time.
You’re not going to believe this, but Facebook just introduced a new feature that ISN’T a way to violate your privacy. I didn’t know they were even capable of that.
In fact, it’s sort of the OPPOSITE. It’s a new feature that lets you COMPLETELY avoid any trace of your EX.
As of yesterday, when you change your relationship status from “in a relationship” to “single,” Facebook will guide you through the process.
It’ll give you options to scrub any of their future posts from your news feed . . . to block your posts from showing up in THEIRS . . . and to remove any posts or photos you tagged them in.
They say the new options are, quote, “part of our ongoing effort to develop resources for people who may be going through difficult moments in their lives.”