Redneck costume, complete with mullet.
Here are some great zingers/dad jokes to help you get into the Halloween spirit.
Behold, the Top Signs You’re At A Redneck Halloween Party
- That zombie who’s missing the bottom half of his face is actually a guy who got mouth cancer from Redman.
- The only thing that’s really scary is the giant Confederate flag on the living room wall.
- It’s your first time hearing “Don’t Fear the Reaper” played by a guy blowing into a jug.
- All the dummies hanging from the trees in the yard look suspiciously like President Obama and Hillary Clinton.
- Almost everyone’s dressed as Daryl from “The Walking Dead” because what the heck, they already had a crossbow and a Harley.
- There’s no need for strobe lights when you can get the same effect by drinking what they’re mixing in the bathtub out back.
- Little Red Riding Hood has two full tattoo sleeves.
- Nobody dresses as ghosts because they don’t want to dirty their Klan robes.
- The witches are brewing meth.
- The winner of the scariest costume contest is dressed as a Democrat.
- The most popular costume is the “Sexy Cousin.”
- The pumpkin carving knife is covered in leftover squirrel meat.
- Everyone jumped from fright at the sight of an empty beer cooler.
- Any women dressed as a witch hears, “Oh, nice Hillary Clinton costume!”
- Not one person asks, “So, read any good books lately?”
It’s okay if you’re not a huge fan of Halloween. Just don’t ruin it for the rest of us. According to a new survey, here are the top six ways people take the fun out of Halloween . . .
- Showing up to a costume party in regular clothes. You can get away with it if it’s a kids’ party. But if it’s a party for adults, either wear a costume or stay home.
- Not answering the door for trick-or-treaters. At least leave your porch light off, so they don’t waste their time.
- Refusing to let your kids eat ANY candy. And pretty much everyone thinks it’s lame to hand out non-candy items to OTHER kids, like little bags of popcorn or pencils.
- Refusing to carve a pumpkin. Or refusing to even buy them, because you think it’s a waste of money.
- Refusing to watch a scary movie. Even if you think they’re lame, this is the one time of year you need to get over it.
- Constantly talking about how much you hate Halloween. Again, it’s fine if it’s not your favorite holiday. Just try not to ruin it for everyone else.
Tons of celebrities dressed up for Halloween this weekend. Here's what they wore:
1. IGGY AZALEA may have won Halloween with her "sexy cat" costume. It's not what you're thinking . . . it's BETTER.
2. HEIDI KLUM always goes all-out for Halloween. And she did it again this year by covering her face almost completely with prosthetics to dress as Jessica Rabbit. (She's got a ton more pics on her Instagram page.)
3. TYRA BANKS pulled off a crazy transformation, too. She dressed as RICHARD BRANSON.
4. NEIL PATRICK HARRIS and his family always crush it. This year, they did "Star Wars". Neil was Obi-Wan, his husband David Burtka was Han Solo, and the kids were Luke and Leia.
5. ALYSSA MILANO won Best Feminist Metaphor by posting a picture of herself breastfeeding her baby in a Wonder Woman costume from last year.
6. MILEY CYRUS went back to her Disney roots. Well, sort of. She posted a picture of herself dressed as Cinderella . . . smoking a blunt. She captioned it, "Cindersmelly high as hell and her bra strap showin'."
7. JUSTIN BIEBER chose what's probably Will Ferrell's LEAST popular movie character: Jackie Moon from "Semi-Pro".
8. KATY PERRY had an interesting concept for a costume: A MIC DROP. She also did that creepy thing where you paint eyeballs on your eyelids.
9. CHARLOTTE MCKINNEY knew how to grab herself a headline. She went to George Clooney's Casamingos Tequila party as a dominatrix.
. . . CHANNING TATUM and his wife JENNA DEWAN were at that party, too . . . both as the Cat in the Hat. Jenna's version was sluttier . . . the way Dr. Seuss intended. (???)
. . . PARIS HILTON was some kind of slutty warrior . . . and SETH MACFARLANE was Chewbacca.
10. BEYONCÉ, JAY Z, and Blue Ivy did a "Coming to America" theme. Jay was Eddie Murphy's character, Prince Akeem, Beyoncé was his mother, and Blue was one of his potential brides.
11. TAYLOR SWIFT mixed Halloween and Christmas, by dressing as Olaf the snowman from "Frozen" and bringing ADELE DAZEEM onstage to sing "Let It Go".
12. JENNIFER ANISTON and JUSTIN THEROUX were spotted wearing cheesy plastic masks . . . which probably had more to do with avoiding photographers than celebrating Halloween.
13. KYLIE JENNER was a sexy warrior and a "snow princess".
(She also got turned into a zombie for TYGA's "Dope'd Up" video.)
14. KOURTNEY KARDASHIAN and her kids were all superheroes. Kourtney and Penelope were Captain America, Mason was Spider-Man, and Reign was the Flash. Meanwhile, Scott Disick was Nowhere, Man. (???)
15. TOM BRADY and GISELE BUNDCHEN's kids were Nemo from "Finding Nemo" and the Hulk.
16. GWEN STEFANI was a bloody cowgirl. Don't ask me.
17. Here's GWYNETH PALTROW and her daughter Apple with skull makeup.
18. JESSICA ALBA and a friend did Romy and Michelle.
19. THE ROCK should have known that "one size fits most" doesn't apply to him. He still rocked his tiny Popeye costume, though.
20. JOHN CENA and his girlfriend, WWE Diva NIKKI BELLA, recreated a scene from "Dumb and Dumber".
21. VIOLA DAVIS's daughter dressed as . . . Viola Davis.
22. JESSICA SIMPSON and her husband did Christie Brinkley and Chevy Chase from "Vacation".
23. A BABY POPE showed up at a White House Halloween party. BARACK and MICHELLE approved.
What Unusual Halloween Costume Does Each State Google
I like this study because it’s not about the most popular Halloween costume in each state . . . it’s about each state’s most UNUSUAL costume.
The real estate blog Estately.com analyzed Google searches for the past 11 years to figure out what Halloween costume each state looks up more than anyone else. Here are five highlights:
- People in California search for “pregnant nun” costumes the most.
- People in Wisconsin are the most likely to want to dress up as BEER.
- People in Illinois make the most searches for slutty pumpkin costumes.
- People in Texas are looking to explore their feminine side by dressing up as Caitlyn Jenner.
- People in New Jersey search for SNOOKI costumes more than anyone else Keep in mind, the data goes back 11 years, so that covers the whole “Jersey Shore” era. Plus women there already own everything they need for the costume. Hi-YO!
- And people in South Dakota search for the phrase “costume ideas” more than anyone else.
(You can see the top searches for every state here. Sadly, about one in five states didn’t have enough searches for specific costumes to make the list.)
Costume Trends This Halloween
Now that it’s October, you’re probably already planning your Halloween costume.
Just kidding . . . you’ll be scrambling to buy something crappy and over-priced at a crowded Halloween store at 6:00 P.M. on the night of Halloween, just like the rest of us.
But if you DO feel like getting a jump on things, here are the two big costume trends this year. It’s according to Pinterest though, so take that for what it’s worth.
- Group costumes. Instead of everyone doing their own thing, you pick an idea for a bunch of people, and everyone sticks to the theme.
It can be anything . . . Mario Kart, “The Walking Dead”, the Kardashians . . . whatever.
- Throwback pop culture costumes. And the ’90s are hot . . . Pinterest says ’90s costumes are 500% more popular than they were last year.
Think boy bands, “Scream”,the Spice Girls, “Clueless”, “Ace Ventura” . . . you get it.