Today is Cinco de Mayo, which is a holiday that commemorates a battle victory by Mexico over France in 1862. Oddly enough, it’s way more popular in America than it is in Mexico.
Anyway, a website called CableTV.com just analyzed Google searches from last year’s Cinco de Mayo to find out what holiday-related search was the most popular in every state. Here are some highlights . . .
1. In 13 states, the most common search was, “What is Cinco de Mayo?” We can’t blast anyone who wants some education.
2. We CAN blast the four states where the top search was “When is Cinco de Mayo?” though. Not a good look, Arizona, Nebraska, Iowa, and Indiana.
3. Tequila or tequila sunrise was the top search in eight states.
4. Searches for different Mexican restaurants were popular in 15 states, but only one of them searched for TACO BELL: Utah.
5. And finally, there were three states that Googled something about Mexican culture that isn’t food. Wyoming and Rhode Island’s top search was for the Mexican flag . . . and Louisiana’s was for sombreros.
Here’s some stupid one-liners about Cinco de Mayo.
- Some people mistakenly think it’s Mexican Independence Day. The rest don’t care as long as the bartender keeps refilling their margaritas.
- It’s the only day of the year your liver says, “No mas.”
- There’s a movie in the works about Mexican General Ignacio Zaragoza’s victory over the French . . . starring Tom Cruise.
- It’s the one time a year Americans get to let loose and have a few drinks.
- By some crazy coincidence, it always happens to fall on the 5th of May.
- People think it celebrates Mexico’s independence from Spain. But it actually celebrates Mexico’s independence from sobriety.
- Once you drink your tenth beer, it’s traditional to yell “GOAAAAAALLLL!!!”
- It’s one of about five million holidays around the world that all commemorate a military victory against France.
- Millions of Americans will pack Mexican restaurants today . . . and others will go to Taco Bell.
- In Spanish it means “Fifth of May”. And in English it means “I’m going to dress in offensive stereotypical costumes as an excuse to get drunk”.
- Mike Pence wants to replace it with a day celebrating white people called Cinco de Mayonnaise.
- It’s racist. But in a harmless way. Like Aunt Jemima.