Now that hackers have violated every female celebrity’s privacy by hacking their iPhones, they’re moving on to the rest of us. And this ain’t good.
Apparently, a group of hackers called the Turkish Crime Family managed to get a list of at least 300 million people’s iCloud passwords.
And they’ve told Apple they’re going to log into those accounts and remotely wipe the data on ALL of their iPhones on April 7th . . . unless Apple pays them a ransom. They want either $75,000 in Bitcoin or $100,000 in iTunes gift cards.
They say if Apple pays up, they’ll delete the list . . . but it’s a tricky spot for Apple. $100,000 is insignificant to a company that big . . . but once you start negotiating with hackers and blackmailers, it sets a dangerous precedent.
So what should YOU do?
- One, you should back up anything that’s important from your phone ASAP, especially photos.
- Two, change your iCloud password.
- And three, hope that either the hackers are bluffing or Apple figures out how to protect you so this just winds up being a false alarm.
Here are five sex dreams and what they supposedly mean . . .
- A dream where you get it on with an ex. It could either mean you have unresolved issues with them, or you miss the level of intimacy you had. Because you don’t have it in your CURRENT relationship.
- Getting it on with a celebrity. It could be a sign you’re not satisfied with the person you’re with. But odds are it’s just your subconscious living out a fantasy, so you probably don’t have to worry about it.
- Getting it on with a stranger. It might be a sign you’re not satisfied with your sex life. Or the “stranger” might just represent a change or opportunity in your life that’s stressing you out.
- Dreaming of your PARTNER cheating. It could mean you’re nervous they’re cheating in real life, or you just feel like they’re not giving you enough attention.
- Getting it on with your boss. Unless they’re drop-dead sexy, it probably just means you want more power and control in your life. And the reason it’s THEM in the dream is they HAVE those qualities.
The best way to ‘win’ the Super Bowl if you’re a commercial is to be memorably funny, or go for the heart strings . . . eight of the ten most popular Super Bowl ads last year were sentimental.
That definitely wasn’t the theme this year.
In fact, it was kind of a mixed bag, without any theme. Unless you count talking animals. There were a LOT of talking animals this year. And the usual mix of celebrity cameos, cars, and Doritos pushing the envelope.
USA Today ranked all 63 of them with their Ad Meter ratings, but we’re not sure we agree. Here are our 15 picks for the most buzzworthy moments, in the order they appeared. But they didn’t always generate buzz for the right reasons . . .
1. Avocados from Mexico. This is the first commercial that actually made us laugh, where aliens in the future tour a museum of pop culture artifacts from the past . . . like “the dress” no one could agree on, and SCOTT BAIO.
And actually, they could have done a LOT with that concept, by making fun of how our culture today is obsessed with something one minute, then quickly moves on. So maybe it was more of a missed opportunity.
2. The Doritos Ultrasound. Doritos usually goes a little more edgy, and this one delivered, for two reasons. Women got to laugh at their idiotic husbands . . . and it suggested ‘birth by Doritos,’ so the lazy dad ended up making things happen.
3. An Astronaut takes a ride in Audi. An ex-astronaut came to life when his son let him drive the Audi R8. It had the sentimental kick that was so big last year. But some people thought it was depressing, since the dad seemed sad and bored in retirement.
4. “Puppy Monkey Baby.” This was more of a “WTF” moment, and that’s exactly what Mountain Dew wanted. Kickstart combines Mountain Dew, juice, and caffeine, so they combined a pug, a monkey, and a baby. And it was horrifying.
5. Steven Tyler for Skittles. Does STEVEN TYLER still have celebrity draw? I guess it depends on your reaction to this commercial. We were divided.
6. Bud Light’s Political Campaign. Politics is a circus now, so this one felt topical. And SETH ROGEN and AMY SCHUMERtook their joke about ‘caucuses’ surprisingly far.
It’s also a good reminder of how much better ads would be if they were actually a SURPRISE during the game, instead of being released online days before.
7. The Prius robbery. This one didn’t generate as much buzz online, but you have to respect the setup . . . a getaway car outruns the law just by being a hybrid. Maybe they should have made the criminals seem more threatening. Still, it was pretty epic.
8. Amazon Echo with Alec Baldwin. This is the rare example of cramming random celebrities into one commercial and making it work. Probably because it had ALEC BALDWIN. Alec Baldwin makes everything awesome.
At the same time . . . what exactly does the Amazon Echo do? Does anyone know? They didn’t really explain.
9. Anthony Hopkins for Turbo Tax. Our favorite ad of the night, hands down. ANTHONY HOPKINS is so A-list, you don’t expect to see him shilling in a commercial. And he was totally poker-faced through the whole thing. That’s how you use a celebrity.
10. Weiner dogs for Heinz. Attention ad companies. Animals in commercials work SO much better when they are not CGI, not talking, and not doing human things.
11. Super Bowl babies. The idea that kids are born nine months after their parents watched the home team win the Super Bowl? Awesome. A little humor would have gone a long way here. Instead they made it serious. Still, people loved it.
12. Christopher Walken for Kia. “Walk-en closet.” Get it? It also made us realize . . . we could probably watch a LOT more ofCHRISTOPHER WALKEN playing with sock puppets.
And it made fun of how celebrity cameos are ridiculous, since Walken addressed the awkward segue between the setup, and selling cars. Very meta.
13. Drake for T-Mobile. They made fun of DRAKE’S horrible dance moves in the “Hotline Bling” video, and he was a good sport. And when the T-Mobile suits give him notes on what to do, his reaction was unexpected.
14. Helen Mirren vs driving drunk. HELEN MIRREN is one of those celebrities everyone loves, and Budweiser addressed a serious topic and had a little fun at the same time. Very difficult to pull off, and it got a huge reaction on the Ad Meter.
15. As far as missed opportunities and misfires, the very first ad for Michelob Ultra blew the big ‘first commercial during the game’ opportunity, since it wasn’t funny OR sentimental.
Especially when you consider the next commercial was that same old Snickers shtick with celebrities swapping personalities. It’s probably time to retire that one.
The Apartments.com ad with JEFF GOLDBLUM was a good example of two problems to avoid: Misusing a famously weird celebrity, AND cramming too many ideas into one commercial. Taco Bell did the same thing with their ‘Quesalupa’ spot.
And finally, LG failed with their spot for OLED TV’s with LIAM NEESON. He was in arguably the best commercial last year, because he got all threatening with gamers online. So if you have a SERIOUS celebrity on your hands, have fun with it.
Here are USA Today’s picks for the five best commercials, which we don’t necessarily agree with. And here are their fiveWORST . . . which we definitely DO agree with. No one wants to hear about constipation or toenail fungus.
Some of the local commercials in different markets made waves too. One on the east coast got people pretty worked up. It was a tourism spot for Colonial Williamsburg in Virginia, and aired right after halftime in New York, Philly, and D.C.
But along with a bunch of patriotic images from American history, they included tragic stuff . . . including the 9/11 attacks on the World Trade Center.
Some people thought that was tasteless, since the Super Bowl isn’t really when you want to dwell on that kind of thing. But it’s probably more about HOW you deliver the message. You can’t sneak up on people with 9/11.
There was another one in the D.C. area for a local plumbing company called Michael & Son, that even got MIKE TYSON to show up and knock a guy out. Remember, it was a LOCAL commercial. Not bad.
Tons of celebrities dressed up for Halloween this weekend. Here's what they wore:
1. IGGY AZALEA may have won Halloween with her "sexy cat" costume. It's not what you're thinking . . . it's BETTER.
2. HEIDI KLUM always goes all-out for Halloween. And she did it again this year by covering her face almost completely with prosthetics to dress as Jessica Rabbit. (She's got a ton more pics on her Instagram page.)
3. TYRA BANKS pulled off a crazy transformation, too. She dressed as RICHARD BRANSON.
4. NEIL PATRICK HARRIS and his family always crush it. This year, they did "Star Wars". Neil was Obi-Wan, his husband David Burtka was Han Solo, and the kids were Luke and Leia.
5. ALYSSA MILANO won Best Feminist Metaphor by posting a picture of herself breastfeeding her baby in a Wonder Woman costume from last year.
6. MILEY CYRUS went back to her Disney roots. Well, sort of. She posted a picture of herself dressed as Cinderella . . . smoking a blunt. She captioned it, "Cindersmelly high as hell and her bra strap showin'."
7. JUSTIN BIEBER chose what's probably Will Ferrell's LEAST popular movie character: Jackie Moon from "Semi-Pro".
8. KATY PERRY had an interesting concept for a costume: A MIC DROP. She also did that creepy thing where you paint eyeballs on your eyelids.
9. CHARLOTTE MCKINNEY knew how to grab herself a headline. She went to George Clooney's Casamingos Tequila party as a dominatrix.
. . . CHANNING TATUM and his wife JENNA DEWAN were at that party, too . . . both as the Cat in the Hat. Jenna's version was sluttier . . . the way Dr. Seuss intended. (???)
. . . PARIS HILTON was some kind of slutty warrior . . . and SETH MACFARLANE was Chewbacca.
10. BEYONCÉ, JAY Z, and Blue Ivy did a "Coming to America" theme. Jay was Eddie Murphy's character, Prince Akeem, Beyoncé was his mother, and Blue was one of his potential brides.
11. TAYLOR SWIFT mixed Halloween and Christmas, by dressing as Olaf the snowman from "Frozen" and bringing ADELE DAZEEM onstage to sing "Let It Go".
12. JENNIFER ANISTON and JUSTIN THEROUX were spotted wearing cheesy plastic masks . . . which probably had more to do with avoiding photographers than celebrating Halloween.
13. KYLIE JENNER was a sexy warrior and a "snow princess".
(She also got turned into a zombie for TYGA's "Dope'd Up" video.)
14. KOURTNEY KARDASHIAN and her kids were all superheroes. Kourtney and Penelope were Captain America, Mason was Spider-Man, and Reign was the Flash. Meanwhile, Scott Disick was Nowhere, Man. (???)
15. TOM BRADY and GISELE BUNDCHEN's kids were Nemo from "Finding Nemo" and the Hulk.
16. GWEN STEFANI was a bloody cowgirl. Don't ask me.
17. Here's GWYNETH PALTROW and her daughter Apple with skull makeup.
18. JESSICA ALBA and a friend did Romy and Michelle.
19. THE ROCK should have known that "one size fits most" doesn't apply to him. He still rocked his tiny Popeye costume, though.
20. JOHN CENA and his girlfriend, WWE Diva NIKKI BELLA, recreated a scene from "Dumb and Dumber".
21. VIOLA DAVIS's daughter dressed as . . . Viola Davis.
22. JESSICA SIMPSON and her husband did Christie Brinkley and Chevy Chase from "Vacation".
23. A BABY POPE showed up at a White House Halloween party. BARACK and MICHELLE approved.
Oxford Dictionaries added a bunch of new words to their online database . . . and we’re basically turning the English language into a lame celebrity gossip blog. Here are the ten dumbest additions and their definitions.
- Side boob. The side part of a woman’s breast, as exposed by a revealing item of clothing.
- YOLO. “You only live once,” the view that one should make the most of the present moment.
- Adorbs. Arousing great delight, cute or adorable.
- Hot mess. A person or thing that is spectacularly unsuccessful or disordered.
- Throw shade. To publicly criticize or express contempt for someone.
- Amazeballs. Very impressive, enjoyable, or attractive.
- Bro hug. A friendly embrace between two men.
- Cray. An abbreviation for “crazy.”
- FML. [Eff] my life! To express dismay at a frustrating personal situation.
- Douchebaggery. Obnoxious or contemptible behavior.
Luckily they’re just new entries in Oxford’s online database . . . NOT the Oxford English Dictionary itself. Words need to have more historical, significant impact before they’re added to the actual dictionary.