New Tostitos’ Bags Have a Built-In Breathalyzer

New Tostitos’ Bags Have a Built-In Breathalyzer

If your friends aren’t responsible enough to tell you that you’re too drunk to drive, maybe your tortilla chips will be?

Tostitos is rolling out a new bag right now that has a built in BREATHALYZER. You breathe into the sensor on the bag, and if it detects any alcohol on your breath, the design on the bag turns red and flashes a message that says “Don’t drink and drive.”

The bags are only going to be around for a limited time, but you should definitely try to get one for your Super Bowl party.

(Adweek)

A Guy Tries to Burn Down His Ex’s House by Setting Cheetos on Fire

A Guy Tries to Burn Down His Ex’s House by Setting Cheetos on Fire

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Malicious arson doesn’t get FUNNIER than this, folks.

A 31-year-old guy named Shemroy Williams from Taunton, Massachusetts was SO angry with his ex-girlfriend back in March that he decided to set her house on fire.

But when the fire wasn’t spreading fast enough, he tried to accelerate it . . . by dumping his bag of CHEETOS into it.

There’s no word if they were Flamin’ Hot Cheetos… Ahem.

Anyway, the Cheetos didn’t work as an accelerant and the fire department put the fire out while it was still pretty small.

Shemroy was in court this week and he was sentenced to two-and-a-half years in prison for malicious destruction of property.

New Dentist Slogan “By the way, I DON’T hunt lions.”

New Dentist Slogan “By the way, I DON’T hunt lions.”

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While Cecil the lion’s killer — Minnesota dentist Walter Palmer — is facing a defaced home, a shuttered business and possible criminal charges in Zimbabwe, Hagerty says she and her husband are enjoying a far friendlier response to their approach to the natural world.

“We like people to smile,” she says. “We’re not here to hurt you.”

So, you may wonder: What does this more-gentle dentist do for fun, if killing majestic animals isn’t his bag?

Hagerty says her husband is a fan of several non-blood sports, including softball and college football.

He loves the Arkansas Razorbacks, and, in what might be seen as a big-game “ironic twist,” Hagerty says, chuckling, “he’s an Auburn Tigers fan.”

Source: Huffington Post

A Woman Is Busted Hiding Drugs In Her Fake Butt

A Woman Is Busted Hiding Drugs In Her Fake Butt

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33-year-old Jill Roy of Buzzards Bay, Massachusetts works at Dunkin’ Donuts. And in spite of unlimited access to unlimited calories, apparently she’s still super skinny with no butt.

So Jill went ahead and got herself a FAKE BUTT prosthesis, which she wears out to give herself a little extra something.

How do we know? Because Jill hasn’t just been using her fake butt to attract men in possession of anacondas.

Jill was pulled over a few weeks ago, and as she was standing near a cop car, a bag of marijuana that she’d hidden in her fake butt fell out of her pant leg. So the cops took her into the station and searched her.

During the search, a female deputy noticed the fake butt and asked Jill to take it off. And when she did . . . there were illegal painkillers AND a bag of heroin hidden in it.

Jill was hit with several felony and misdemeanor narcotics charges.

 

(The Smoking Gun