I’m not sure what guy would want to wear any of these Halloween costumes . . . I mean, they’re pretty much guaranteed to turn women off en masse. But just in case you WOULD want one, this is a public service announcement.
Here are some men’s Halloween costumes on sale RIGHT NOW that will make you look like a jackass . . .
1. “Seymore Boobs Free Mammogram.” It’s a box that goes over your head that says “Free Mammogram” and has a cutout in the shape of boobs for your face.
2. “Genie in a Lamp.” This one is an Aladdin vest and a huge magic lamp that goes around your waist . . . you know, like it’s your junk. And it says “Rub Me!” on the side.
3. “Frank the Flasher.” You’ll get a trench coat, a gray wig that looks like male pattern baldness . . . and a flesh-colored bodysuit with fake junk.
4. (Careful!) “Dr. Seymour Bush, Gynecologist.” This isn’t just a lame pun, it’s a super lazy costume . . . it’s just a white lab coat with the name embroidered on it.
5. “Adult Droopers.” You get a white granny wig, orange Hooters shorts, a cutoff shirt that says “Droopers” . . . and fake boobs hanging out.